I read this today and it stayed with me:
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/midlife-redundancy-reinvention-corporate-b2950250.html
We’ve built a certain way of talking about big life changes. Losing a job, moving to a new country, or what people call a “midlife crisis.” We often turn all of it into something positive. Stay strong. See it as an opportunity. Reinvent yourself.
But for many people, it doesn’t feel like that at all. It feels like something in your life has been shaken, and you’re not sure what comes next.
You lose your rhythm. Your sense of direction. Sometimes even a part of who you are. And instead of giving space to that, we move very quickly to fixing it. Do more. Try harder. Move on.
And a lot of the time, the responsibility quietly shifts to the individual. As if it’s just about mindset, effort, or making the right moves, while the bigger context stays out of the conversation. The job market, the system, timing, luck. All the things that shape what is actually possible.
But maybe what’s needed first is something else. A bit of space to understand what actually changed. A bit of time to feel more stable again before taking the next step.
I’ve experienced parts of this myself, and what helped was not moving faster, but slowing down for a bit.
I’ve been seeing this a lot in conversations with internationals here in the Netherlands. People who are doing many things right, but still feel off. Not because they lack skills, but because they’re going through a deeper change that takes time, and not everything is in their control.
Not everything has to become a “reinvention.” Sometimes it’s just a phase where things are unclear, and that’s part of it.